Living with regret is the biggest torture in life

It's been 2 weeks since I first met him.

I had one chance to spend the rest of my life together but I gave away the opportunity from my indecisiveness.... Yes I'm talking about the flat I viewed and loved at first sight.

Let me give a brief description of the flat: - it's on the top floor (4th) and you get the whole floor to yourself, a living room surrounded by windows and a panoramic view of skyscrapers and greenery (people's backyard!), loads of natural daylight shining into the flat from all the huge windows, and a good sized terrace... not to mention only minutes away from the very chic area - Greenwich.

I can imagine myself lying on a bean bag in the living room, starring at the moon and stars, listening to my favorite Plain White T's with a soda in my hand....

But now it's all over.

Many friends told me it's not in my best financial interest to get onto the property ladder because of the economic condition, which I agree. However, from this lesson I've learned that it's more sexy than a pure investment. It's like choosing a man to settle down. Why? Because every property is unique and you need to "click" with it before even thinking about the numbers... if you don't like it, you wouldn't buy it no matter how "value for money" it is. As for a man, you need to click with him before knowing anything else. If you don't like him, you wouldn't waste your time no matter how good the "financial prospects" are. Having said that, of course some will say there are exceptions, but that's beyond the scope of my mind... lol

I cannot believe until today, I was still thinking about "him". Perhaps the fact that I am approaching 30 is really showing - I want to "settle down", have a place of my own, a place where I have all the control, and not needing to pick up freaking early weekend phone calls from my landlady!

Today I couldn't resist and sent the housing group an email and told them I will be the first to buy if it becomes available again... sounds stupid but that's all I can do.

After this posting, I promised myself I will only look ahead and carry forward the lessons learnt.

Screw the Big Apple...........!

Really annoyed that I had to spend the last few weeks researching.

I thought the NY trip would be a no brainer but end up not knowing what I'll be doing 2 weeks before the trip! One's indecisiveness and cowardness just doesn't do any good to this world?!

I wish Rochester is closer to Chicago so at least I can visit Illinois, the hometown of my favourite band and spend my birthday there and hopefully get to meet some talented musicians out there...one at least as talented and charming as Tom Higgs. ;)

Somehow I feel bad that I told P I will be in the States for my birthday and not in London. I just wanted to say sorry. The truth is, I didn't enjoy my birthday last year, I had to get away from it. You didn't show your disappointment but I can sense it. But hey there is something you can do, its your call whether you want to go that far. I bet you wouldn't, cos you love yourself more.