Since my trip:
- I've decided to go ahead with my (very first) flat purchase, the flat I almost thought I'd lost.
- I've split up with a guy I dated for 2 years.
- I dated a guy from work, in the same team (very first time!) - I thought he's "the one" I can potentially spend the rest of my life with.. until he broke up with me after 3 weeks having chased me for months.
- I will be an auntie next year March!
- My brother got married in October following his 'accident'.
About my NY trip.....
It definitely was a lot of drama and full of experience. I decided to go my own way for a road trip instead of visiting him in Bath. To highlight my trip (in chronological order):
- My connection flight to ROC from NYC was cancelled, and the next flight was delayed and end up arriving at ROC at around 2am... 8 hours later than scheduled time I had to bang the door and wake people up to let me in their house (the co-op I decide to stay at)
- NYC was pouring raining like hell in my few hours there.
- Received one parking ticket in Buffalo.
- Slept with guy A whom I technically dislike in Buffalo.
- Spent my 30th birthday wandering around Toronto.
- Kissed guy B whom I didn't fancy in Toronto.
- Smoked clove cigarette the very first time.
- Slept with guy A the second time.
- Had an almost total loss car accident (got struck by a truck) at the Buffalo/Fort Erie boarder.
- Kissed guy C whom I also didn't fancy in Rochester, I even find him annoying....
- Received a speeding ticket on my way to Bath - but I've decided....
- Unexpectedly, spent my last 2 days with "him" (who I originally went to NY for) with his family at his cottage.
- We sat around the fire under the shining stars and made love on his yacht at the lake in a cold rainy night.
- Drowned myself and almost my 2 cameras (both very expensive!) at the lake.
- Early morning fishing for breakfast at the lake with him.
I think it was fate that brought us together again. I was determined to ignore his emails and not see him again, but I've decided to visit the Glass Museum. The GM is not far from his cottage, so I thought I give him a chance, so I texted him - if he want to see me, then meet me at the Museum. I wasn't expecting anything, but I was glad he came to see me - he wasn't that bad afterall.
Although just a few days, I really enjoyed my time with him. There were no fancy words, expensive presents, promises, but simply his kind heart and genuine smile to me, and of course, his culinary treats! I know we're unlikely to have a future, so that made me feel sad. But having experienced that made me understand myself more, about what I want from my partner.
After returning to London from NY....
...there was another dramatic change for me. A senior colleague fancied in me. I've never dated people from work, and hardly ever stay friends with work people. I simply don't think about it, until he ("X") approached me.
He made me feel important, wanted, attractive, and have given me all the attention I've deprived of in the past 2 years. He's also smart, well traveled and will travel with me, cultured, and take care of me in every way he can. I feel 'safe' with him.
I thought I was the luckiest person in the world, having to find my soulmate, X. Before realising what happened wasn't a dream, it was all over. He dumped me. Till today, he still hadn't tell me directly why, but I think I know why. He think I'm too much trouble, too high of a maintenance. I told him I'm tired of life at times, I told him all my family issues, I told him I'm depressed at times. I almost fully exposed myself to him.. being too honest. He said he was worried that I said I was tired of life. He's not willing to have all that with the relationship.
I hate him being too selfish, but I hate myself more for ruining the relationship. It's sad that we have to treat relationship like a game, there are certain "rule of thumb" you want to keep in mind, and certain "taboos" you should never attempt to try. Otherwise its more likely to fail.
Just like mine.
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